A Not-so-rude Awakening

Recently I was sitting in my car, waiting for someone to complete a rather lengthy appointment so we could go home, and a car pulled in the spot next to me. The occupants never got out, but they did crank up the music, and occasionally the driver loudly slapped the outside of his door in time to the music. Somebody in the car was also making these weird noises from time to time, almost like growling, but I also heard talking from time to time. It really kind of creeped me out. I’m thinking “These guys must be really high” or “Why aren’t they using WORDS? This is SO weird . . .”

I couldn’t really see who was in there, due to the angle of the cars, but I figured it was maybe a couple of college students waiting around for a girlfriend to get off work or something, since we were parking in front of a local supermarket. (For once, aliens in human bodies didn’t cross my mind.) I had been just about to get out of my car and go in the store, but decided not to, since I had been using my computer in the car and my bizarre new neighbors must surely have seen it. I didn’t want to come back out and find my laptop gone – I need it! So I waited.

and waited . . .

and waited . . .

The car never left. I thought I was the only one in town without a life, but these guys were not going away, and after more than an hour I figured that maybe they were there to stay. Ya think?

A bit more time passed, and suddenly my laptop kind of flickered, like it does when I switch from plugged in to free-standing. My first thought was “Uh-oh,” because I have seen this before, when I overused the battery on my old car and no longer had enough power to get it started. I quickly unplugged the computer and tried to start the car, and all I got was the rapid clicking you get when you don’t have enough energy to make things work. Oh, great.

Well, the driver’s door of the weirdoes next to me popped open immediately, and a guy of about 50 jumped out and motioned for me to roll down my window. I dropped it about halfway – fortunately I still had enough power to run some things for a bit – and he said “No battery, huh?”

Sadly I agreed, then he took charge of things. Turns out his name was Charley and the growling in the car was coming from him playing with one of the two large dogs sitting in there with him. After much maneuvering he got his car close enough to mine for his jumper cables to reach (I didn’t even have any of my own!), but his had a hole in the insulation, so he ran into the store and bought some electrical tape, fixed them, and tried again. They were bad, so he ran around asking other people if we could borrow some cables, and eventually he found some and we got the car started.

While all of this is going on, a lady came up to Charley and started begging him for a dollar, something he didn’t have. She chatted with me for a bit, too, but I was also short on cash and didn’t have anything to give her. As the conversation went on, it turns out that both Charley and Dawn, our new friend, were homeless, yet here they were helping me and not asking anything in return. Dawn was on the streets because her latest boyfriend had beaten her up once too often, and Charley had had a series of financial problems that had cost him everything.

I had a lot to reflect on as I finally headed home. These people were they type that I usually avoid, just in case, but neither of them was high, crazy, or actually scary at all. They had been concerned about me and my problems, which were so small compared to theirs, and had spent their time and energy to make sure I was okay. And as I drove away, they were working on helping each other find a safe place to stay.

I’m not sure just what I learned from this whole experience, since I know that some people out wandering at night are crazy or dangerous, but so are some people who work in busy offices, like the guy who got fired and returned to work to beat and stab and shoot his co-workers to death, or the executive who lost all his cash playing the market and blew away his stock broker. I guess the message here is that you just never know, and I think next time I won’t be so quick to judge someone just because I hear weird noises and even growling from a car. It just might be a man taking care of a beloved puppy, even when he’s without a home of his own, and not drug-crazed aliens looking for blood. Maybe . . .

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Can You Say “Delusional?”

I think this says it all.

I think this says it all.

Okay, I have just GOT to share with you the strangest, weirdest and most delusional site ever!!! Read on for the details. I can’t believe that this one is for real, but according to what I have learned through my investigations, this guy, Ari Blank (and his wife Cynthia Blank), actually believe everything on their site. Sorry, but like spicy food with a sore throat, I am having a hard time swallowing that . . .

These folks live on a remote hillside in Southern Oregon, in Azalea, and they seem to have somehow gotten the idea that THEY have a valuable piece of property, (apparently the only one in Oregon, based on the number of people they claim are involved in trying to snatch this place out from under them). I’ve seen it, and it sure doesn’t look that way to me. In my opinion it’s a not much of a place, with no house (they live in a shipping container like you might find on the back of a truck, loaded with various nuts and perhaps some fruitcakes, headed down the road to a local asylum).  Their crate/house sits close to the road and they have a blue plastic outhouse in their front yard. It’s lovely . . . (not). According to posts on their own website, the property also has a defective septic system, done as part of the incomprehensible scheme to steal their land.

Anyway, I don’t care how these people live, but they appear to have really gone off the deep end and are accusing anybody and everybody of being in on some kind of a HUGE plot to steal their land!!! Not only a statewide conspiracy, but one that even has federal officials involved in the plot. To prove their point they cite “relevant” references going back over 100 years and having nothing to do with anything, as far as I can tell.

They think their place is perfect for a vineyard, but this is TOO funny for words! It is rough, steep, loaded with trees, and COLD in the winter. I guess they don’t understand about altitude and have never heard of winterkill, not to mention that the place is far from anything and has no flat spots to process any grapes you might be lucky enough to get.

Still, as far as I can tell they think EVERYBODY is out to get them. Their site lists not only the IRS, but also the power company, the phone company, the satellite TV company, their Internet service provider, neighbors that they don’t even know and have never met or even spoken to, the county sheriff’s office, no less, and countless others, all of whom are in on the plot to steal this one little bit of land. (LOL)

The Blanks also seem to think everybody knows about them and has heard all kinds of terrible things about them. Based on talking to some local folks, it seems to me that a lot of people have no idea what’s going on and don’t really care. Never heard of this big conspiracy and don’t want to. Truth be told, the Blanks’ own website is responsible for a lot of the negative opinions folks have formed about them. From the safety of a website that allows for no commentary or even the possibility that there might be another side of things, they slam pretty much anybody and everybody, for no apparent reason, then complain that people and businesses won’t talk to them anymore. Gee, I wonder why not? DUH!

The entire world revolves around the Blanks, according to my understanding of their website. The attorney they hired is corrupt because she didn’t get them what they wanted. The satellite installers are sneaking people from the sheriff’s department onto their property for secret inspections. The power company is illegally monitoring their power usage. The UPS driver is stealing and opening packages because, umm, well actually I’m not sure why, but he is, according to them. Friends supposedly tried to entrap them for the benefit of the sheriff’s department – not sure what law enforcement is gaining from all this, so maybe I need to read the site again, but it is all part of a land grab directed at these people alone.  There’s plenty more.

Wow – talk about narcissistic with delusions of grandeur . . .

Now they are giving out people’s names, home addresses, and phone numbers, too. A whole page of them, and ALL of these people are plotting against the Blanks for one little bit of land!! How much would their land have to be worth to make it valuable enough for so many people to band together to steal it? After all, there are some really nice places available in the area for a reasonable price, much nicer than what the Blanks have. Pretty funny, when you think about it, in a sad sort of way.

Still, in the interest of fairness, here is the Blank’s contact information, which they neglect to include on their own website, in case you want to ask them about their land – or anything else: (LOL)

 19302 Upper Cow Creek Rd.
Azalea, OR 97410

(310) 929-0147

Speaking of which, there’s one place where Ari, who supposedly thinks he is some kind of a web genius, says one of his neighbors won’t say where she got his “private” email address. DUH!!! I got it — plus everything else you see listed here — in about 30 seconds by running a whois on his website. I’m thinking Ari Blank has no clue about much of anything except how to turn the most innocent of events into collusion and conspiracy.

Ari Blank -- Seems to Enjoy Bullying People

Ari Blank — Seems to Enjoy Bullying People

What I really DO think is that these folks either have serious delusions of grandeur OR they are hoping to sell their story to the Enquirer or maybe turn it into a Lifetime movie – IF they can convince anyone there’s any truth to it. But with all their wild claims, they may be too much even for The Onion, much less Hollywood. Perhaps they could give Jerry Springer a ring . . .

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